Success Guaranteed by Doing One Thing
It's human nature to want to succeed. Whether you are a professional athlete, the CEO of a company, a parent, a lover or a friend, people have an innate desire to succeed and it seems that there are plenty of people out there with the secrets to success. You are all intelligent people and perfectly capable of filtering through the constant flow of success techniques, so I am not going to tell you the 5 steps to this or the 9 laws of that or the 21 principles that they follow. I am going to tell you the one thing you can do today that will guarantee a higher degree of success in every facet of your life. Before I tell you about that one thing, I want to talk to you about success.
Success is a very personal concept. Webster's dictionary defines success as "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors". Think about that for a moment. This definition implies success lies in the outcome of conscious intent. Paint a picture in your mind of something that is important to you. Something you strive to be successful at. Maybe it is a career aspiration or maybe it involves a relationship with a child or partner. Whatever it is, to be successful you must be aware of it, you must have a conscious intent to be so.
In addition to the conscious intent, you must be able to define the desired outcome. You define the desired outcome by comparison. The end state that you call success must be in comparison to your current situation, some previous situation or to the situation of someone else. What ever the comparison, it is your perception that the end state is desirable.
Therefore, success is determined in the context of your reality. So what is the context of your reality? Look around you. If your aim of success is related to your career, the context of your reality may include how your employer or customers perceive you. If your aim of success is related to your family, the context of your reality would involve how your children or partner perceive you. No matter what the aim, the context of your reality involves how you perceive yourself.
Putting all this together, you can define success as the end state of conscious intentions to adjust your perceived reality.
Now let's get back to the one thing you can do that will guarantee a higher degree of success. Incorporate a feedback system into your life. I am not talking about an elaborate system of metrics I am talking about asking one question, "how am I doing with (fill in the blank)." Sounds pretty easy right? The challenge you will face will come from first being humble enough to ask, then taking the feedback with unconditional positive regard and making changes in your thoughts or behaviors when deemed necessary.
Here's how it works. First, be very clear about what it is that you want to be successful with and have a clear picture about what the end state looks like so you will know when you have reached it. In other words, clearly define your goals. Next, identify who the players are in determining your success, these are your stakeholders. This may be your boss, your customers, your partner, your children or maybe it is just yourself. Now you need to let all of your stakeholders know what you are working towards. Finally ask the question, at least once a day "how am I doing with..." Thank them for the feedback and privately reflect on what you were given.
Some of the feedback you will take and use to adjust your actions, some you will take as encouragement that you are on the right path and some you will take and decide you will not do anything with it at this point in time. The key here is not to negate the feedback that is given; it is real and often is part of your blind spot. Keep a journal of the feedback. If you find you are getting similar feedback from different people this is a good indication that you have an area that needs attention. Even if you are the only stakeholder in your given aspirations, ask yourself, check in and write down your thoughts about how you are doing. Reflect on the feedback you have given yourself and make adjustments in your thoughts or behaviors where appropriate.
By implementing this simple feedback system you will achieve a higher degree of success in whatever it is you aspire to achieve.
Success is a very personal concept. Webster's dictionary defines success as "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors". Think about that for a moment. This definition implies success lies in the outcome of conscious intent. Paint a picture in your mind of something that is important to you. Something you strive to be successful at. Maybe it is a career aspiration or maybe it involves a relationship with a child or partner. Whatever it is, to be successful you must be aware of it, you must have a conscious intent to be so.
In addition to the conscious intent, you must be able to define the desired outcome. You define the desired outcome by comparison. The end state that you call success must be in comparison to your current situation, some previous situation or to the situation of someone else. What ever the comparison, it is your perception that the end state is desirable.
Therefore, success is determined in the context of your reality. So what is the context of your reality? Look around you. If your aim of success is related to your career, the context of your reality may include how your employer or customers perceive you. If your aim of success is related to your family, the context of your reality would involve how your children or partner perceive you. No matter what the aim, the context of your reality involves how you perceive yourself.
Putting all this together, you can define success as the end state of conscious intentions to adjust your perceived reality.
Now let's get back to the one thing you can do that will guarantee a higher degree of success. Incorporate a feedback system into your life. I am not talking about an elaborate system of metrics I am talking about asking one question, "how am I doing with (fill in the blank)." Sounds pretty easy right? The challenge you will face will come from first being humble enough to ask, then taking the feedback with unconditional positive regard and making changes in your thoughts or behaviors when deemed necessary.
Here's how it works. First, be very clear about what it is that you want to be successful with and have a clear picture about what the end state looks like so you will know when you have reached it. In other words, clearly define your goals. Next, identify who the players are in determining your success, these are your stakeholders. This may be your boss, your customers, your partner, your children or maybe it is just yourself. Now you need to let all of your stakeholders know what you are working towards. Finally ask the question, at least once a day "how am I doing with..." Thank them for the feedback and privately reflect on what you were given.
Some of the feedback you will take and use to adjust your actions, some you will take as encouragement that you are on the right path and some you will take and decide you will not do anything with it at this point in time. The key here is not to negate the feedback that is given; it is real and often is part of your blind spot. Keep a journal of the feedback. If you find you are getting similar feedback from different people this is a good indication that you have an area that needs attention. Even if you are the only stakeholder in your given aspirations, ask yourself, check in and write down your thoughts about how you are doing. Reflect on the feedback you have given yourself and make adjustments in your thoughts or behaviors where appropriate.
By implementing this simple feedback system you will achieve a higher degree of success in whatever it is you aspire to achieve.
posted by Coach Kristin at
1:18 PM
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